ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've "been meaning to" for three years.
The thing you meant to do has since been invented, finished and replaced by AI.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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