ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You typed "speak to an agent" nine times.
The bot sent you a help article about speaking to agents. The agents were let go in March.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- Disrupt the industry. The industry will disrupt you back, then buy your logo for…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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