ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 25 SEPTEMBER 2004
You don't have a spending problem.
You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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