ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212.
The game hasn't been fun since day 30. The streak doesn't care.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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