ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Wisdom comes with age.
So does standing on the landing with no idea why you came upstairs, or exist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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