ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see my screen?"
You can. You always will.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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