ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've "romanticised your life".
It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main character". The rent is still due, in a minor key.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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