ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Quality family time:
everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by the same algorithm.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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