ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You wanted a mini-me.
You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost to you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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