ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 5am routine went viral.
You did it once, filmed it, and have slept until 11 every day since. The algorithm doesn't know. Your landlord does.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
One quote. Every morning. Delivered before coffee, when you are weakest and the day has not yet had the chance to disappoint you itself.
No spam. Just disappointment. Unsubscribe whenever you regain hope.