ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“Too close to call” means nobody knows.
It is said by people paid a lot to know.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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