ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You typed "speak to an agent" nine times.
The bot sent you a help article about speaking to agents. The agents were let go in March.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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