ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Strangers online have voted you "not wrong".
The same strangers once voted to give a research ship a silly name. You are the silly name.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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