ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Abs are made in the kitchen.
So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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