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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION THURSDAY, 17 SEPTEMBER 2009
Your call is important to us.
Not important enough to answer, but important.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
  2. You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
  3. You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
  4. Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
  5. Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
  6. You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
  7. 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 445

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