ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question".
Zack has read your ideas. Zack would like them escorted from the building.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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