ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 24 OCTOBER 2009
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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