ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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