ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You manifested your dream job.
The universe received the request, checked your CV and moved you to spam.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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