ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- Running clears your head. Mostly of the idea that you're a runner.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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