ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You put "open to work" on LinkedIn. Six recruiters viewed your profile. Five were…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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