ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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