ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees are getting different memos now, mostly from a specialist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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