ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every parent has a favourite child.
It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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