ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You swore you'd never sound like your parents.
You just said "because I said so" in your dad's exact voice. He lives in you now.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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