ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph.
The photo will outlast your sanity.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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