ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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