ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January.
It's been screaming quietly ever since.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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