ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing.
When you leave, someone will fight over the plant.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
One quote. Every morning. Delivered before coffee, when you are weakest and the day has not yet had the chance to disappoint you itself.
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