ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said you're "so busy" this week.
Your screen time says eleven hours a day. Busy is one word for it. Scrolling is the other.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Strangers online have voted you "not wrong". The same strangers once voted to give…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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