ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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