ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "in your villain era".
You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times. Villains have done less damage at a christening.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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