ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- Scale your business. Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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