ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought.
It renews automatically. So does the guilt.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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