ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise.
One of you will die first. It'll still be pending.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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