ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You have an eleven-step skincare routine.
Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is doing its best. It isn't a miracle worker.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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