ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The battle pass costs £9.99 a season.
Your childhood cost nothing and had better rewards.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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