ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've "found your aesthetic".
It's beige. It's always beige.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You call it "quiet quitting". Your manager calls it "the same as before". Nobody…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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