ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your resting heart rate is excellent.
It's had nothing else to do.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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