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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION SUNDAY, 5 OCTOBER 2014
You call your mum "for advice".
You call her for the Netflix password.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
  2. You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
  3. Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
  4. You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
  5. Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
  6. You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
  7. You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 445

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