ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Listen to your body.
It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been asking for eleven years.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Scale your business. Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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