ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Parenting is ten percent love
and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is. Then they leave and take both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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