ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You got a houseplant to "take care of something".
It died. Even the plant had better boundaries than you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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