ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- You put "open to work" on LinkedIn. Six recruiters viewed your profile. Five were…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
One quote. Every morning. Delivered before coffee, when you are weakest and the day has not yet had the chance to disappoint you itself.
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