ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Scale your business. Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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