ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Scale your business. Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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