ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call yourself "a bit of a foodie".
You've ordered the same chicken 64 times this year. The driver knows your dog's name.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Scale your business. Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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