ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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