ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday".
Except a manager, and he meant your Monday, not his.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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