ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Growing old is mandatory.
Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later. Nothing happened.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Underconsumption core is a beautiful aesthetic. It's what the last week of the month…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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